NaNoWriMo 2014?

First off, what is NaNoWriMo? NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. You are allotted the 30 days in November to write a 50,000 word novel. Doesn't sound too difficult, but trust me it is.

If you were around a year ago, you'd know I "participated" in NaNoWriMo 2013. I say "participated" because I believe I only made it four days before giving up because of all the stress.

So I can imagine you are all curious whether I will be participating again this year.

The answer is: Yes.

HOWEVER! I don't expect much of myself. (Who can blame me?)

So last year.... I realize it was the royalist of epic fails. To be honest, most of that month is a total blur so I can't even tell you why I stopped so soon. Probably something to do with endless college work. 

This year.... I expect to fail. I'm not going into this thinking I will win. My college work is getting more intense than ever and it is difficult enough to get work done now. 

However, my novel this year is why I am participating. For the first time, I am attempting a nonfiction novel. Consider it an extension of my blog, or a self help book of sorts. Each day I plan on writing a minimum of 1,667 words on a different topic. 

I won't be upset if I don't finish NaNoWriMo though because whatever I do finish, I can always use as posts for my blog. So really, it's a win win situation, never mind the official losing of NaNoWriMo. 

If anything, I hope to get past day four. But with the amount of book reports and major projects I have, I won't be holding my breath. 

So, it probably isn't a bad idea to expect new blog posts coming your way in the next few weeks. 

(PS: To give you perspective on 1667 words a day, this post up to THIS POINT has been 324 words.... Yeah.)

Nothing special, but still meaningful.

Much love,
Elly


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Behind the Lens

It's funny how we change and grow. The person you are now isn't even close to the person you were then. Whether that then is ten years, one year, a month, or yesterday. Each day brings new experiences and feelings; all different and unrelated to the other. 

I have a YouTube channel (which I hope most of you know by now). The first video I posted on this specific channel was on June 10th, 2013. It was just a silly little daily vlog at an amusement park with my friends. The Elly you see in that vlog is still me, but the Elly writing this today is also still me. That didn't make much sense. Let me explain a little better.

The person I was on June 9th, 2013 (the day it was filmed) is completely different to the person I am now, yet we are still so similar. In the video I come off playful and full of life. I am those things, but in different ways. The part of me you see in some of my more recent videos is very relaxed and go with the flow. 

But even then, who I am in videos isn't completely me either. It is my personality, but it is more up front and in your face. If you would meet me in reality I would be so much more quiet and reserved; that is until you put something or someone in front of my face that I can't help but get excited about.

The camera also doesn't capture my thoughts or what I am experiencing in day to day life. Currently, my life has been a blur of work and school and moving. My mind has been filled with more thoughts about my future than ever, but that doesn't show on camera.

I didn't know where I was going with this post when I started, but I guess the message is an easy one. You may look up to people like celebrities or YouTubers (YouTubers especially). You think you know everything about them because they daily vlog or update their Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook enough that you think there's no way they could have anything private. But in reality, they do. 

They only show you what they want you to see. Videos are like acting in a way. You are yourself, but a more animated version of yourself. You dramatize the best parts of you to make yourself more entertaining. You play up the most noticeable characteristics. I guess, you just have to realize that what you see on the screen isn't always what goes on behind the lens. 

If you don't take my word for it, Zalfie (YouTubers Alfie Deyes and Zoe Sugg) hid plans about moving in together for two months. How many of you didn't see that coming? Nothing special, but still meaningful.

Much love,
Elly


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Be Happy.

In our day to day lives we all get caught up in the routine. Get up, out the door to work or school, food, family, friends, repeat. Routine is wonderful. Personally, I find it hard to function or get anything done without lists and a schedule. However, they shouldn't control our lives.

Recently, I haven't been in the best place. Well, actually that's kind of a lie. I have been doing wonderfully compared to this time last year. The problem is that I found myself lost in routine, making me unhappy.

Happy.

What is happy?

It's what we all strive for.

Whenever someone asks where I see myself in 'X' amount of years I always simply say "Happy". That normally makes them stop. You don't expect that. You expect me to say college, job, married, kids. But that isn't what I want, not totally.

Think back to the person you were five years ago. What would you think of that person if you met them on the street? Hate them? Cringe at them? Envy them?

Humans are fickle creatures.

You can't expect us to stay the person we are for the rest of our lives. 15 year old Elly was naive. She was still in the Disney and all dreams come true phase. She didn't consider failure because she believed that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it. That isn't to say that I'm not still like that. However now, I have a better concept of the world and I realize I have tough times ahead.

Nearly 5 year old Elly loves Disney and wants to work in movies. Nearly 20 year old Elly loves Disney and wants to work in movies. The difference is that nearly 20 year old Elly understands the struggles ahead. Despite all these struggles and bad times not yet experienced, I just want to be happy. I don't care if I don't have the dream life I planned when I was 10 years old. All that matters is that I'm happy with where I am, who I am, and what I am doing.

Last year I was in a bad place. I got my rude awakening and felt scared. Within the past year (last few months especially) I grew and discovered the person I want to be as well as the steps I had to take to get there.

This routine I've found myself in, the past few weeks especially, has made me lose sight of that happy. It isn't that my life is awful, things (for the most part) seem to be all going my way. I've just let myself get too swept away with my routine. Get up, classes, food, writing, shower, bed, repeat. I forgot to let myself live the moment. I've been too carried away with my class work and the endless amounts of writing thrusted upon me this semester that I feel like my happy is slipping away. I didn't realize this until yesterday.

Nothing in particular really happened. It was a normal day, but it just felt like nothing was working out. I felt stressed and over worked and like I needed a well deserved break. That's when I realized the happy was gone. It was replaced by never ending deadlines and stress.

It was my wake up call to cut out the stress and find my happy.

Happy isn't just a state of mind.

Happy is a lifestyle.

Being happy is all I ever wanted to be. I just need to learn to stop procrastinating. Procrastination is the leading factor of stress. Take time for myself. Because if you lose yourself, you lose your happy.

And my happy isn't something I wish to be without.

Nothing special, but still meaningful.

Much love,
Elly


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