Be Happy.

In our day to day lives we all get caught up in the routine. Get up, out the door to work or school, food, family, friends, repeat. Routine is wonderful. Personally, I find it hard to function or get anything done without lists and a schedule. However, they shouldn't control our lives.

Recently, I haven't been in the best place. Well, actually that's kind of a lie. I have been doing wonderfully compared to this time last year. The problem is that I found myself lost in routine, making me unhappy.

Happy.

What is happy?

It's what we all strive for.

Whenever someone asks where I see myself in 'X' amount of years I always simply say "Happy". That normally makes them stop. You don't expect that. You expect me to say college, job, married, kids. But that isn't what I want, not totally.

Think back to the person you were five years ago. What would you think of that person if you met them on the street? Hate them? Cringe at them? Envy them?

Humans are fickle creatures.

You can't expect us to stay the person we are for the rest of our lives. 15 year old Elly was naive. She was still in the Disney and all dreams come true phase. She didn't consider failure because she believed that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it. That isn't to say that I'm not still like that. However now, I have a better concept of the world and I realize I have tough times ahead.

Nearly 5 year old Elly loves Disney and wants to work in movies. Nearly 20 year old Elly loves Disney and wants to work in movies. The difference is that nearly 20 year old Elly understands the struggles ahead. Despite all these struggles and bad times not yet experienced, I just want to be happy. I don't care if I don't have the dream life I planned when I was 10 years old. All that matters is that I'm happy with where I am, who I am, and what I am doing.

Last year I was in a bad place. I got my rude awakening and felt scared. Within the past year (last few months especially) I grew and discovered the person I want to be as well as the steps I had to take to get there.

This routine I've found myself in, the past few weeks especially, has made me lose sight of that happy. It isn't that my life is awful, things (for the most part) seem to be all going my way. I've just let myself get too swept away with my routine. Get up, classes, food, writing, shower, bed, repeat. I forgot to let myself live the moment. I've been too carried away with my class work and the endless amounts of writing thrusted upon me this semester that I feel like my happy is slipping away. I didn't realize this until yesterday.

Nothing in particular really happened. It was a normal day, but it just felt like nothing was working out. I felt stressed and over worked and like I needed a well deserved break. That's when I realized the happy was gone. It was replaced by never ending deadlines and stress.

It was my wake up call to cut out the stress and find my happy.

Happy isn't just a state of mind.

Happy is a lifestyle.

Being happy is all I ever wanted to be. I just need to learn to stop procrastinating. Procrastination is the leading factor of stress. Take time for myself. Because if you lose yourself, you lose your happy.

And my happy isn't something I wish to be without.

Nothing special, but still meaningful.

Much love,
Elly


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