The Art of Self-Discipline

I am oddly good at the art of self-discipline. No matter how badly I am dreading something, I always get it done to the best of my ability. I have been that way ever since I was a little kid. I never went to preschool and was always being passed around to various awful babysitters or day-cares. I quickly learned that if I wanted something done I had to do it myself.

When I started school, I realized I was so far behind from the other kids in my classes. To be honest, that only motivated me more. I turned into a little seven year old who spent her time working on math and English workbooks she made her mother buy from the grocery store. I hated being the one with the worst grade, so I pushed myself to be the best. I craved praise for my accomplishments. Anything below an A+ and a sticker felt like a failure. 

As I got older, of course I stopped completing workbooks in my free time (and not just because I completed every single one available in stores....). I wasn't focused on being the best, I was focused on being the best I could be without torturing myself. Long story short, I taught myself the power of discipline and really throwing myself into my projects. I never half-ass anything. If I hand in a project whether it is just a simple worksheet, essay or short film - I go all out. I don't shoot to get a 100%. I shoot for 110% minimum. 

If I attempt something, I give it my all. I apply that same philosophy to my own person accomplishments. For example, when I wanted to start a new YouTube channel I committed myself to at least one video a week. I didn't care how busy or stressful my life was, I didn't want to miss a week, break the chain and ultimately let myself down in the process. When I set my mind to something I go head first into it until it is completed to the highest standard I can complete it to. 

However, in my whole life the one project that I always fail at is NaNoWriMo. I don't know what it is, but this is the only project that ever stumps me. This is my third year attempting and third year miserably failing. Although, to be fair this month isn't over yet. But the chances of me writing the last 39,000-ish words in the next 11 days is highly unlikely. That won't stop me from trying though. 

Am I the only one with this problem? Am I just too busy and too insane to try and juggle NaNo, school, YouTube, making a short film, holidays and my social life? I have written so many novels in my lifetime that I've lost track of them all, but the second I attempt one for NaNoWriMo I fail miserably. Is it just a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point? Probably, but I will still keep trucking and face the defeat like the strong woman I am at the end of the month. Because the end of November and start of December means a whole new ambitious plan is about to take place! *coughvlogmascough* Nothing special, but still meaningful.

     Much Love,
              Elly

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