It's come that faithful time again where I have to say goodbye to my friends, family, cat, and little hometown to move three hours away for a higher education. This is my second year now at university, and I have to say that this transition was SO much easier than the first time I did it!
Last year, being a freshman, I didn't know what to expect. I was always very anxious and scared and didn't know what to do. I had never really been alone before; I had always had my friends or brother by my side. I was thrown into this world where I knew no one and didn't know my way around. I was given a roommate that was the total opposite of me and I was thrown into social situations that nearly had me to tears every night just thinking about them.
Over the course of last year, I had some of my lowest lows and very few highs. I experienced loneliness like I never had before. I also went through two roommates as well as about a seven week period of living by myself. Not surprisingly, the seven or so weeks I lived by myself, I was the happiest. I am a very introverted person, so having the whole dorm to myself was very refreshing. Plus, by that time I knew my way around campus. I got into a routine and even made a few acquaintances in one of my courses due to the endless group projects. (Sadly, none of which I am still in contact with.)
This year, I knew what to expect, but I still wasn't fully looking forward to it. I like living away from my parents. When I went back to live at home over the summer, I found living with them very suffocating. I wasn't in charge of myself and what I did anymore. I was under their rule and constant yelling. However, despite living on my own, I'd rather not come back to school. Maybe it's the education I'm tired of, or the structure, or work. Nevertheless, I did come back to school to continue working towards my degree in Communications Media.
After returning, it was amazing how quickly I felt at home, even if my dorm is the complete opposite of last year, my favorite place to eat closed, and I have a new roommate. It was the solitude I missed. I mean, of course I have a roommate, but I am still essentially alone. I can come and go as I please, and eat or do what I want, whenever I want. Speaking of my roommate, I think I quite like this one. My last two kept to themselves, but in different ways. The first was always around, but very loud and had friends over. The second, quite honestly, was a dream roommate. She was so quiet that I could never tell if she was in or not. My new roommate, however is a nice mix of both. She is quiet, yet keeps her door open. She has friends over, but is respectful about it. I think what makes her stand out the most is the communication we've had so early on. I have probably talked to this new roommate more in the past five days than I talked to my two other roommates combined.
That got me thinking, maybe it was myself that changed and not as much the personality of my roommates. This year I am, without a doubt, more social. Maybe it's because I'm not that lonely freshman anymore or because I've had experiences with this already. I have always been very antisocial and socially awkward, but this year I'm not afraid to start a conversation with someone that says hi to me. Of course, I probably sound stupid, but at least it's something. Starting conversations the past week has given me a well needed confidence boost as well as people in my classes to turn to if I have questions or just need to vent about a professor. With my roommate, I'm glad she isn't like I was when I first came to uni. She wasn't afraid to talk to me even though I am a grade above her. Each day we talk more and more and I leave my door open more. That makes me excited and nervous to see where I am at the end of this semester. How much will I change in these short 15 weeks? I guess only time will tell, but I hope I'll become someone I'm proud of and not someone I wish I could change. Nothing special, but still meaningful.
Much love,
Elly
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